Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Mirror, Mirror On the Table

When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to place a mirror on a flat surface, position our faces directly over the top, and look down. Amid shrieks of horrified laughter, we told each other that this was how we would look when we were forty (gasp!). Of course, with typical youthful arrogance, we didn’t believe we would ever get that old, and certainly not that hideous. Ah, well.....
I was reminded of this game when H and I were at a friend’s house for dinner this weekend. It was all very pleasant, until we sat down at the stylishly set dinner table, where the hostess, in her skeletal wisdom had decided that ‘mirrored place mats’ were a good idea. Every time I looked down, I thought there was a shar pei puppy under the table trying to eat my food - it was extremely disconcerting. I suppose if you extend the idea of the teenage mirror game, then this is how I will look when I am eighty (as if I will ever get that old or that hideous!).
Helping me to forget that troubling image, is a glass of Pimm’s – just with lemonade and ice, since we haven’t got the strawberries/orange/cucumber/mint/borage/cabbage or whatever you are supposed to put in it these days. It’s a shame really, because if we did, there would be enough food in the one glass to call it a decent enough meal, and I wouldn’t have to bother cooking tonight.
Maybe I could just pour myself another Pimm’s and spoon a few baked beans into the glass.......

12 comments:

dulwichmum said...

Good point! I had soup in a Thai restaurant at lunch time, and I have had more nourishing Pimms I must admit. Fresh veg makes it positively virtuous!

mutterings and meanderings said...

Cor! I love Pimm's. My grandad recently explained to me there were a number of different types of Pimm's depending on the number on the bottle. One was gin-based, one was something else-based etc ...

Stay at home dad said...

Vodka-based, I think that's the most common. I am a big fan of just the alcohol and lemonade with ice version. It's 25% so just enough to give a kick but not so much that you're well down the track after just the one...

Drunk Mummy said...

Dulwich Mum, I reckon it may be possible to get all of one's 5 daily portions of fruit and veg in the one glass, therefore it is, technically, a health drink. There may even be enough grounds to devise a diet - The 'AtPimms Diet' or 'P-plan' maybe.

M&M,I'm drinking the Number 1 which is the gin-based Pimm's. There is a vodka-based one, but you don't see it around so much. I'm not sure I could tell the difference (or is it just that I wouldn't care?)

Drunk Mummy said...

Ah, SAHD,
Isn't the vodka-based one the Number 6? Like I said, I'm not sure I could tell the difference anyway. When you say 'just the one' I'm presuming you are talking about the one jug. (Cue jokes about big jugs)

debio said...

On my 14.1" Wide Clear Bright LCD Built-In (to my computer) Camera, I suffer a daily glimpse of my aging face - that's if I don't boot-up, really quickly, and decide what I'm going to do, really quickly.
Who needs a camera built-in to the computer anyway? - especially on a cruel, tortuous loop - playing and re-playing The Complete and Necessary Works of a Plastic Surgeon...

Stay at home dad said...

Yes, I was completely wrong. Interesting, now I've checked, how many have fallen by the way over the years...

Yes never more than one jug at a sitting. Couldn't get the big jugs joke in, sorry.

rilly super said...

to whom is attributed the quote that martinis are like breasts, one is not quite enough but three is one too many? and just how tenuous can a reponse be an invitation to make jokes about jugs in an article about Pimms? Very, it seems, it has been a long day though, sigh...

With all this talk of drinks that Carmen Miranda would have proudly worn on her head I am beginning to worry you are an undercover government health promotion czar drunkmummy. Please reassure us you are the old soak we have grown to know and love.

Drunk Mummy said...

Hi debio!
What do all the expats drink in Dubai? (that sounds like the opening line of a joke) Is it true that you are rationed as to the amount of alcohol you can drink privately? That sort of quota always feels like a challenge to me.

Dear Rilly,
The references to fruit and veg are there to provide a (very) thin veneer of respectability. You know I prefer to take all my calories in liquid form.

debio said...

Oh Lord! - or should I say 'Allah Be Praised.'

I hope you are sober as this takes some following.....

If you are a tourist you are allowed to drink in any of the established watering holes - aka, hotels mainly.

If you are resident you simply must be a man to obtain alcohol legally, as only men are allowed to hold booze licences. I am, however, given dispensation on the basis that I am married to a man and can, therefore use his 'plastic'.

Licences are given a purchase limit - usually 1000Dhs per month (about 140+GBP).

Booze is easily available - in my opinion the wine doesn't travel well. It is comparatively expensive.

There is, of course, the 'hole-in-the-wall' type establishment, where you can buy if both unlicensed and female - just don't get caught with it in your car......

If caught driving having had any alcohol at all, then a prison sentence is automatic.

Best to get a driver - but you need to be drunk to suffer the journey without becoming hysterical with fear......

The Secretary said...

I am a hardend gin drinker.

Working in a secondary school (and a nice one to boot) I would be happy for an intravenous drip with a bottle under my desk, but as it is my 41st today, I will settle for the gin optic to go on the wall in the kitchen (above the kettle, mugs and coffee) that my dear sweet children purchased for me. Bless them - just what I wanted/needed!!!!

Drunk Mummy said...

Thanks for the info debio. Like I suspected, the £140 a month quota looks a little on the low side!

Happy Birthday Secretary! You have obviously raised your children to be considerate, empathetic souls with high emotional intelligence. I can only wish for the same.