Thursday, 9 August 2007

We'll Take Manhattan

Our visit to Manhattan was a combination of slick, high-speed living and slow, patient queuing. We had a great trip to the Statue of Liberty and took all the requisite photos of ourselves grinning like chimps, with the ethereal green statue in the background. The Museum of Immigration on Ellis Island was fantastic, and seemed to offer an insight into what ‘being American’ means for millions of people. We also managed an early morning trip up to the top of the Empire State Building. At the time it seemed that the visibility was rather poor, but that could just have been my hangover - a result of over-indulgence in the delicious Californian ‘Toasted Head’ Cabernet Sauvignon. It certainly felt like my head had been toasted.
We also managed rides on the subway and in yellow taxis, went to the Central Park zoo, and popped our heads in at Tiffany’s. We ate fantastic Chinese food downstairs at Wo Hop, superb pizza at Arturo's and drank root beer with our burgers in the Big Daddy Diner. Add to that the bagels, pretzels and ice cream we consumed, and we can safely say that we took the most almighty bite out of the Big Apple.
In a slightly surreal moment, we passed the apartment block where I spent a very happy, party-fuelled year, in the days when I was single, solvent and sexy (yes, it was a long time ago). I explained this to the kids, who nodded vacantly, just to humour me. The only interest shown was by the youngest who asked if he had been around then. No, I explained, Mummy didn’t have children then. Ah, but was he in my tummy? No, not even there. Ah, but wasn’t he inside me, even as a tiny, tiny egg? Okay, yes, on that basis, I suppose so.
My God, how depressing. There I had been, thinking I was living a fantastic, carefree life as a sassy single girl, but all the time I had really been a mother of three children. It’s amazing how children can not only colonise your body and your every waking thought, but they can re-write your personal history too.
I am posting early today, as my brother and his family are coming to stay with us for a while, and I can’t blog again until they leave next week. He and his wife have two-year-old twins, and an eight month old baby, so H and I are going to try and give them both a bit of a break. Our reward will be to punch the air every time they are out of the room and shout ‘Thank God that’s not us any more!’
We have been trying to remove as many ‘swallowable’ items as possible from the living room, but just clearing the Lego pieces and the Polly Pocket bits has taken us hours. I remember my youngest child swallowing a metal ball-bearing from a Magnetix set when he was two. I never knew if it ever came out of him, but I was tempted to make the other two children swallow a magnetic bar each from the same set, so at least I could click them all together when we needed to cross the road.
I am planning for tonight’s meal to include several bottles of Yalumba Shiraz-Viognier (Ocado £5.49 down from £6.99 until 11/09). This hearty, full-bodied red is bound to be a big hit with my hearty, full-bodied brother. It tastes of licquorish and plums and is lovely and smooth.
I am also going to need several bottles for tomorrow’s Friday Night Fizz, so it can really only be the great La Marca prosecco (Ocado £5.99). Its light, fragrant sparkle will match my light, fragrant sister-in-law, as she settles down to get hog-whimperingly drunk with me.

17 comments:

dulwichmum said...

Welcome back lovely friend. You have been badly missed. You have reminded me to be happy that my children are not such hard work any more... or are they?

DJ Kirkby said...

How hilarious, your youngest is way too perceptive!

Frog in the Field said...

Love that comment about being able to click them together to cross the road, that's brilliant. You have made me laugh for the day....thanks!
It's true, thought, the little buggers are with you constantly. Wait till they get the teenage hormones, believe me, you aint seen nothing yet! Beware!

Heidi said...

welcome back! I also have some fond memories of irresponsible living in Manhattan, and some not so fond ones. Great place when you are single, solvent and sexy...
I would love to get my hands on some Toasted Head. That pretty much describes my head this morning.

lady macleod said...

"hog-whimperingly drunk" I am working on the picture in my mind... what a phrase, I must steal that, but I may need instruction on when to use it properly.

Very nice good deed to babysit for your brother, I can imagine it is greatly appreciated.

Yes, but the eggs were not sentient, so NO, they weren't there, those days are yours.

wonderful, warm, and funny - good to see you back.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Hun, I will always think of you as sassy!

EmmaK said...

He and his wife have two-year-old twins, and an eight month old baby

My deepest sympathy to your brother....i certainly do not want to be rude or impolite, but I am simply nosy... but was the one conceived after the twins a sort of accident ....amazing that anyone would be having sex that soon after birthing twins. I dunno, maybe there are some who can handle this sort of experience. Not me, if I had three under three I would fill up a coffee thermos with gin and be drinking it from 6am.

Mopsa said...

Oh, I love the idea of magnetic children. I was hunting for lost tractor bits in a hay field yesterday and decided that having an in-built metal detector would be handy. I found the bits within minutes and re-thought that perhaps being wanged through the air to find my feet and attached bod fixed horizontally to the side of a muck spreader would perhaps not be such a great thing after all.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Hog-whimperingly drunk, what a fantastic term. I hope your hangover is hale and hearty this morning, but i do worry a bit that you are severely regretting your excess as you were woken three times in the night and then very early this morning.
My nephew swallowed one of those balls and at Casualty they used a metal detector on him to see where it was in the body. Pushing back the frontiers of medical science.
Have a good week DM

Akelamalu said...

It won't matter how carefully you tidy up those babies will find something to put on their mouth and choke on it - It's a fact of life! You'll deserve another award by the time they go home, something like MOST SAINTLY SISTER or somesuch - good luck. :)

@themill said...

Two year old twins and an 8 month old? You are a saint.
And love 'hog-whimperingly drunk'

jenny said...

Welcome back!!

Ha!! I love that swallowing a ball bearing and making the other two swallow a magnetic bar bit! Made me laugh and agree, how I wish I could stick my 3 together too!!

Whew.. 2 yo twins and 8 mo baby?? Bless you Drunk Mummy, for you must have been drunk to agree to such a thing! I'm sure you'll have plenty to blog about after they head home!

Elsie Button said...

How funny of your yourngest son - keeping you on your toes! my god - that is one lively house you are going to have... TWINS - they completely fascinate me... HOW DOES ONE COPE? and even more mind-boggling... twins AND an 8 month old baby - i can hardly cope with just the baby bit.

Stay at home dad said...

Welcome back DM. A great Magnetix quip. There must be some bravery award out there for people like your brother and wife ...

rilly super said...

drunkmummy, I think my children must have swallowed magnets. It's the only explanation for the fact that I cannot prise them away from the fridge, sigh. I'd much rather have a little empire state building or statue of liberty stuck on the door. Where did I go wrong?

Drunk Mummy said...

dulwich mum - thank you! I can't work out if the children are less hard work as they get older, or whether we just get more used to them!

dj kirkby - that's a nice way of putting it!

frog in the field - aarggh! the hormones stage sounds really scary!

heidi - hope the head is feeling better (slightly grilled rather than toasted?).

lady macleod - thank you for reminding me that those days do in fact belong to me. My kids have got their grubby little mitts on everything else of mine.

m&m - thank you m'dear! Although I find it harder and harder to remember that myself.

emmak - yes it is quite a feat of fertility! Why didn't I think of that trick with the thermos?

Drunk Mummy said...

mopsa - there could be many uses for magnetism in farming methods, although the real Mopsa might find herself redundant if magnetic sheep need no longer be rounded up, but merely clicked together.

pig - actually my son has swallowed a ball bearing twice (thus disproving the theory that they learn from their mistakes) but we never took him to the hospital, since he didn't seem to suffer any ill-effects. Although sometimes when he runs, you can hear a muffled clanking.

akelamalu - that is so true! The twins managed to find a whole series of colourful, shiny marbles at the back of the sofa. Not sure if they actually ingested any.

@themill - aah, but I knew they were going back home after a few days!

jenny - I usually am drunk when I agree to anything sociable!

elsie button - me too. My brother says he is fed up with people saying to him 'Twins! Twice the fun, eh?' He has his own less jolly conclusions about twins.

SAHD - these were very longed-for babies, so I suppose that is what carries my brother and his wife through. What is that saying about being careful what you wish for?

Rilly - at least if the 4x4 gets too full, you could attach the children to the outside, or on top of the roof rack?