Wednesday, 18 July 2007

On The Town

I have been nominated by Mopsa and MYA for a Blogging Community Involvement Award for Services to Schmoozing! I am truly flattered, as I believe that schmoozing is a seriously under-rated skill (along with sponging – but we’ll come to that later). It is supposed to involve the gift of ‘conversing casually in order to make a social connection.’ After a few bevvies, my conversation can become so ‘casual’ that it is positively slurred, but never mind. Thank you Mopsa and MYA, I am delighted to accept, and would like to pass the nomination on to Jenny at Mountain Mama, who has such a warm, conversational style, you feel that you are sitting right next to her, at the kitchen table of her lovely mountain home.
Download the shiny badge, Jenny, and enjoy!

Anyway, enough of the red carpet - we are off on holiday! Some friends in New York have very generously given us the use of their beach house on the Jersey Shore, followed by the use of their Manhattan apartment. What a sponger’s paradise! Even the horror of taking three children on an eight hour flight wasn’t enough to make me pass up this opportunity. Also, as I have mentioned before, I am unfashionably fond of the USA, and can’t wait to get back there again.
The kids are very excited about seeing the Statue of Liberty, and I am very excited about pouring gallons of American wine down my neck. The favourable exchange rate means that I really should sample as much as I can, don’t you think?
While we are away, my brother and his family are coming to stay in our house. This has caused me considerable anxiety. When you take a look at your own house and try and see it through someone else’s eyes, it can be truly alarming. I’m not just talking about the level of squalor we tolerate at home, compared to normal people. It’s more to do with the vagaries of the house and its contents.
It started when we handed the keys over. I had to give my brother and his wife details about how the front door was ‘really easy’ to open, as long as you pull it towards you, before turning the key. Then I moved on to explain how opening the back door was ‘really easy’, as it was the reverse procedure to the front door, but required an additional shoulder barge. ‘Never mind’ they said, ‘we won’t open the back door – how do we open the windows?’ Well, it’s ‘really easy’, there’s a key, but it only works on some of the windows. ‘Never mind’ they said, ‘we won’t open the windows.’ By this point, they were exchanging claustrophobic glances, so I didn’t dare describe how you have to twist the shower control right round to the left if you want any hot water, or stand on one leg to ignite the ring on the gas cooker. It is turning into a nightmare scenario of having to attach explanatory Post-it notes to every idiosyncratic control and appliance we own. I have even bought a new kettle and iron, since the risk of electrocution from our old ones was dangerously high, unless you were wearing Wellington boots.
As I am in holiday mood, I have cracked open a bottle of Ca’Rosa Prosecco (Oddbins £7.49) which is dry, with a light and delicate apple flavour. I don’t like it quite as much as my favourite La Marca (Ocado £5.99), but it is a very strong contender for second place. Highly recommended!
Just one more glass, then I will carry on packing the suitcases. Despite all the preparation, I am really looking forward to this holiday. The chance to spend time together as a family will enable us to discover what it is that we really can’t stand about each other.

I will be back in August – I’m missing you already!


Tracey said...

Nooooo! I only just found your blog And now you're going AWOL for a while! (I suppose I have been lurking for a week or so now - while I LOL'd and chuckled, and snorted coffee through my nose, and smiled in appreciation at knowing there was at least one other mummy across the globe with so many similar perceptions [and how is it that you can be describing my house and exactly how I would be feeling if someone was going to come and stay here!.]

(You know in the US they do have the internet, and you can log on to blogger, and...)
Have a great time over there.. enjoy the wine!

expatmum said...

Just remember - they say "fanny" all the time, aren't very good with their "pleases" but make a "thank you" go on for a week. Breakfast will be a huge plate with its contents all soaked in maple syrup, and you can ask for the leftovers of any meal to be "wrapped", "boxed" or "to go". Just don't force the kids to finish their plates as they'll probably complain of indigestion for hours before throwing up in bed. Enjoy y'all!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Oh Drunk Mummy, just as I get back, you disappear! Never mind, I shall amuse myself with your back issues (sounds rude), and may I wish you a fab holiday...ppsssttt, what about drugging the kids before the flight? I understand there are ways and means. have a lovely time!

Motheratlarge said...

Congratulations on the award and have a great holiday, Drunk Mummy. New York, New York!! The Manhattan skyline, Empire State Building, central park... sounds like lots of fun.

DJ Kirkby said...

OOOOOOOOH have an amazing hols, enjoy the Californian wines, be sure to try some from Canada's Summerland if you can find them, (absolutly exquisite) and blog us a postcard. xoxo

The Good Woman said...

Bon voyage Drunk Mummy. We'll miss you terribly and expect a masterclass on The Californians when you return.

Vanessa said...

Have a fab time!

Heidi said...

a tip for the long haul flight with kids: Melatonin for them, wine for you. Eveyrone happy.

have a lovely time! are you going to try kitesurfing when you get to the beach?

Mid-lifer said...

Just a warning - I put on six pounds (weight/not money) in the states last year and be careful with the cheap wine:we bought a MASSIVE box of Californian wine for our travels from some random cash and carry in LA and found we hated the stuff (and believe me, for me to hate any wine at all is practically unheard of).

Have a fantastic time schmoozing with the yanks, I'm sooo jealous.

rilly super said...

have a super holiday drunkmummy. It's a shame you have to travel all that way when I could have put you in touch with my friend who could have lent you her beachhut in redcar and appartment in one of the most exclusive parts of Billingham for the summer, still, maybe next year, sigh. Hope you have a good time despite this and look forward to seeing your sober self back in a couple of weeks.

Jen said...

Enjoy your holiday! We live less than an hour from a beach, so a beach holiday doesn't make much sense for us. But I do envy you the trip to New York. I've never been there! Remember, sobriety is important on the plane, the TSA frowns on drunkeness, they're such party poopers. *grin*

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

I'm new here too. Here's what I have to say about New York: Walk tall or don't walk at all. A lot of American wine is overpriced and shite, speaking as an American. But I'm sure you with your expert nose will find something drinkable. Immigration will be a nightmare, but it'll get better after that. Have fun, and I envy you.

debio said...

The USA - land of familiar waiters with massive portions.....

Have a great time - see you in August!

IngeniousRose said...

Have a great time in New York and do not feel guilty that many of your fellow bloggers are stuck in rainy wet soggy Britain and the schools are about to break up for 'summer', we are not at all bitter!

Send a postcard !

lady macleod said...

Enjoy! Have loads of that fabulous California wine. Do take the children to the Natural History Museum in Manhattan if you can; don't be put off by the giant elephant - it's not pink...

Peter May - The Pinotage Club said...

California wine? ISince you'll be in New York State then drink the local New York wine. There are some superb wines made on Long Island not 100 miles from New York City , and further afield (but easy visitable) are the winelands of the Finger Lakes.

We see virtually no NY wines in the UK, so do take the opportunity.

Have a wonderful time

Stay at home dad said...

Have a great time DM. Looking at the UK on world weathermaps it seems to be one big storm cloud...

EmmaK said...

three kids on an eight hour flight. I would start drinking the moment you get into the car to the airport. Have a good trip!

Omega Mum said...

Many congrats! Have a lovely hol. Well done!

Elsie Button said...

Have a great holiday! By the way, i thought you were onto something re. the frogspawn smelling wine being an indication that i was pregnant - but alas i am not (quietly relieved phew!!!)

Elsie Button said...

Have a great holiday! By the way, i thought you were onto something re. the frogspawn smelling wine being an indication that i was pregnant - but alas i am not (quietly relieved phew!!!)

mutterings and meanderings said...

Have a good un babe! I'm quite sure you will!

Rebecca said...

have a great time - and I hope you all figure out what it is you all dislike about one another (lol)

dulwichmum said...

Have a wonderful time lovely friend. I will miss you terribly. Come back with lots of tales to tell...

jenny said...

*GASP!* I was away for a few days and I come here to catch up and spied my new award!! Oh, my!! Thank you so very much for your nomination!! I feel flattered! (tee-hee!) I shall post it with pride!

I hope you have a lovely time here in the states.. If you can, try some Virginia wines.. they easily rival California wines.

Looking forward to your return!

Akelamalu said...

I've just come back off holiday to find you've just gone!!!

I popped over to say you have an award m'dear, please pop by my place to collect it. :)

eMummy said...

Aww have a great time!!


Jill said...

Congrats on the award & have fun!!!

@themill said...

Have fun, but log on and give us a stateside version of DM

Mid-lifer said...

I'm awaiting your return Drunk Mummy - had a bit of a drama here in mid-liferville (posted on my blog) and need urgent advice on which wine to get to ease my angst.

DB said...

Hey drunk mummy, I know you're away, but as I'm hungover mummy today, thought that I must call in and say hi - much too much very cheap rose last night, not to mention some hideous white wine spritzers! (I know, I'm sorry, I've never done it before and I promise I will never do it again, but I was trying to make the hangover less painful - not that it worked mind.)
Wanted to know if I can link to you on my blog? Not sure what the etiquette is on this, nor even how to achieve it technically, but would love to be "connected" to you. p.s. no news from Flying Dutchman, but have another cunning plan, involving creating a website and facebook...

Pig in the Kitchen said...

so come on, it's August. Where are you love?

Drunk Mummy said...

Hello Tracey!
We also share netball-mad daughters too!

expatmum - we managed to keep the 'fanny' count to a minimum!

pig - hope you were amused by my back issues!

mother at large - it was fun, and I did keep bursting into song at regular intervals.

djkirkby - I don't think I have ever tried Canadian wine. I am now on a mission to do so.

good woman - I would love to oblige, but its all a bit hazy - and the notes I wrote are barely legible. It was good fun trying them though.

vanessa - thanks, we all had a superb time!

heidi - sadly, I didn't get to try kitesurfing. I fear my 'core instability' would prevent me from managing even the basics!

mid-lifer - only six pounds? I think I put on more than that just on the flight!
Sorry to hear that you had ben having trouble with bitchy girls - seems like your daughter has coped admirably well.
In times of such stress, I would advise any big, heavy red (barolo or rioja are excellent) - one that you have really got to chew. It will stop you from making any hasty plans. Even if you manage to formulate a plan, you will have forgotten it by the morning!

Dear Rilly - the beach hut in Redcar will be just the thing for next year! I spent plenty of time on the beaches of Marske when I was very little!

jen - I am so envious of you living so close to the sea!

Hello wakeupandsmellthecoffee!
You were bang on about immigration. Trying to get my three little terrorists to stand still in the queue was no fun.

debio - I am now living with the after-effects of my over-indulgence. Clothes have got to be either loose or lycra in order to fit at the moment.

ingenious rose - I felt guilty for about three seconds when I heard about the weather in the UK! We had great weather, but 90% humidity in Manhattan was tough.

lady macleod - sadly we didn't make it to the Natural History museum, and since we've come back, I keep hearing/reading about it all the time!

peter - I did try and get some 'local' or East Coast wines, but failed miserably (we didn't eat out that much, and the selection at the shops we visited wasn't great either). I did make up for it by consuming more than my body-weight of Californian wines though!

SAHD - it has been lousy, but I have high hopes for August (can you tell I've been drinking?)

emmak - I certainly drank loads on the flight back, and managed to develop a hangover without any sleep!

omega mum - thank you, you are very kind. I just want to go away again though!

elsie - if we were in the middle ages, I probably would have been put on a ducking-stool for such a suggestion.

M&M - it was fab - but I just want to go away again! (There really is no satisfying some people).

rebecca - I think the (unspoken) lists ran into several pages by the end of the holiday. Ah, the joys of family life!

dulwich mum - one of the best things was not bumping into anyone from the school run. Was your holiday in Cornwall like 'school run by the sea'?

jenny - you are very welcome!
I will add Virginia wines to my list of 'must finds'.

akelamalu - thank you so much for the award - I was delighted!

Hello emummy!
Thanks very much - we did make the most of it!

jill - thank you! We had lots of fun.

@themill - I decided to leave the blog until I came back. This left me much more time for drinking wine!

db - I would be delighted to link to your blog. I look forward to reading about your 'cunning plan'!
Re the cheap rose and spritzers - I think you have already suffered enough.

pig - I have definitely been something of a 'slack Alice' since my return!

lin said...
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