Monday, 18 June 2007

Shopping Trollied

I had a lovely treat this weekend. I met up with a friend for lunch and a bit of shopping. We drank way too much over lunch, laughed way too loudly, and banned all use of the ‘c’ word from our conversation (meaning, of course, ‘children’).

This friend has known me over half my life, and has therefore borne witness to the many great disasters and occasional small triumphs within that period. She has an enviably slender figure, a great sense of style and a very rich husband. You would think I might choose my friends more wisely, wouldn’t you?

Going clothes shopping with her is something of a vicarious pleasure. Maybe this is what it feels like to construct a Second Life avatar. You can dress your avatar in all those items of clothing that look dreadful on you in real life. So, that chiffon ‘gownless evening strap’ that merely accentuated my farmer's tan? Put it on my peachy-skinned friend instead, and it looked great. Those tight cropped leggings I barely managed to squeeze into, and which made my legs look like a string of sausages? On her long lean limbs they looked fabulous. Even the ‘must have’ patterned smock tops just made me look like I ‘must have’ a very strange sense of humour. As my avatar friend effortlessly amassed a complete wardrobe of fashionable trousers and skirts, with numerous co-ordinating tops, I managed to buy a belt.

I did notice that the shops seem to be full of linen trousers - the fool’s gold of fashion. They always look fantastic when you put them on in the changing room, but I know from bitter experience that this effect is extremely short lived. If you are so reckless as to sit down in them, even for a few minutes, then be prepared for the full gypsy accordion effect when you stand up again. And why do the hems always curl up at the edges like slices of stale ham? I reckon that the majority of people who buy linen trousers don’t actually do their own ironing. I own one pair, and I think I have spent longer trying to iron a straight crease into them, than I have spent actually wearing the damn things. Life is just too short for linen trousers.

Anyway, I will be wearing my new belt tonight (but not my linen trousers – I haven’t got two hours to get ready) at another Wine Dinner - hurrah! The ‘theme’ of this one is simply wines which are personal favourites of the organiser. I am a little bit anxious, as I know he has something of a soft spot for Reisling - a wine that I have locked horns with on many occasions. Sometimes it is delicious, (like the Waitrose Pfalz £4.99 recommended a while ago by Stay At Home Dad, although Ocado don’t seem to stock it any more) but other times it’s like drinking petrol. It should be a very interesting evening.


Elsie Button said...

drunk mummy, you make me laugh so much!
i bet your belt will knock 'em dead.

btw, i have been taking on board your wine tips - i am crap at choosing wines - my criteria is normally £3.49-£4.00 italian and screw-top (lazy). sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. I have learnt never ever to buy any wine from Spar - however desperate, even if all other shops are shut on a sunday evening.

Stay at home dad said...

That sometimes works Elsie?!

I look forward to your wine dinner DM: wines for under a tenner to get through the kids' evening routine to...

mutterings and meanderings said...

Never mind life bein gtoo short for linen trousers, it's too short to iron... just give 'em a shake, that's my motto!

dulwichmum said...

Don't envy your chum. She is probably plagued by a bikini line the size of an Ikea bath mat. Nobody is perfect. I like your belt... Where did you get that then?

Natural Blonde said...

Aha! The Farmers tan; I developed one of those at the South of England Show the other weekend, when it was supposed to be raining! In an attempt to get rid of it, I covered my shoulders in tan accelerator and went to work on the allotment yesterday in a vest I now have a Texan farmers tan!

expatmum said...

Hope the wine evening was enjoyable, but I'm more interested in the morning after. Most of the time I get hammered these days, the hangover makes it just not worth it!

lady macleod said...

One always wants a slimming, lush, rich belt to wear to the wine tastings; especially if you aren't going to wear trousers!

DJ Kirkby said...

Just popped in for my guarenteed laugh! (Thanks) Bet you looked great when you rocked up to the wine evening in your belt!Hows your hangover? Puleeeze tell me you do get hangovers?!

Mopsa said...

Linen is not for ironing - the more folds it has and the more crinklier it is the better....I always thought it was meant to flop about in a studied, unkempt but expensive sort of way.

debio said...

I am so pleased you eschew linen, drunk mummy, I like to join good company; I always look like a Slav land worker in this fabric! I know it's supposed to hang naturally but I've got too much which hangs naturally and definitely need some structure.

Have a good evening?

Pig in the Kitchen said...

You didn't mention that Linen trousers also tend to stick right up your arse...

I would also like a look at the Drunk Mummy Wine List that SAHD mentions...if you're not too hungover?!

Drunk Mummy said...

elsie - thankyou! Is Spar really that bad? There isn't one near me, so I don't shop there very often.. There must be something decent?

SAHD - great though the Wine Dinner was, none of the wines was under my £10 pain barrier. Therefore drinking them was a 'one night only' special!

M&M - I like your style!

Dulwich Mum - ha! I've never asked her! Now you mention it, you never see her in hipster shorts!

natural blonde - the farmers tan is a devil to get rid of. If I stand naked in front of the mirror, it looks like I am wearing a novelty T-shirt.

expatmum - this is very true. The hangovers are getting worse the older I get (or am I just drinking more the older I get?)

lady macleod - now that would have caused a bit of a stir (or put people off their food, not sure which.)

dj kirkby - Oh yes, believe me, I do get hangovers! Sometimes I can cover them up with the judicious application of sunglasses and lippy. Other times, only a brown paper bag will do.

mopsa - I rather aspire to that myself - to flop about in a studied, unkempt but expensive sort of way!

debio - Yes indeed - I am right with you on that!
The evening was great thanks.

pig - you are right, add a rather-too-tight thong into the mix, and the result can be like a form of medieval torture. I'm posting about the wines tonight.